Meet the Mom – Cara

Name: cara coniglio mcclure

Where did you grow up: palm beach

Town you live in now: west palm beach

we love being near so many families and part of a youthful, urban environment .The area is so convenient and you can get to restaurants, school, skate parks, stores within a couple minutes but still have quiet walks along the intracoastal one block away

 jared and I have four daughters.  Elle is 7 years old and always cartwheeling her way  through  life. Selah  is 5 and  a  very  compassionate and  kind soul. Lulu will be 4 in June.  she is very expressive and up for a good time in all situations.  Noah will be 2 years old in July and is little miss independent.  being the  fourth child, she fends for herself and has no problem bullying her bigger sisters.

 -we love taking the boat out on the intracoastal and wakesurfing down to peanut island. we surf and swim and have dance parties enjoying the focused family time.

-every Saturday in  season, we  go  to the  green market for cider  donuts, a turmeric shot and pump house cocoanut lattes and then have  breakfast with my sisters  at  bradleys. the kids wake up so excited on Saturdays for that tradition.

-the two oldest girls play soccer at the new palm beach gardens youth association fields. the entire family goes to the practices and games together each week and the little  ones play in the fields while jared and I cheer  at the  top of our lungs.  it feels like how I imagined parenting would be like. wholesome and healthy and togetherness.

 I sell real estate in palm beach and coastal  wpb.  my dad was in real estate prior to getting into the restaurant business so I guess it was in my blood. we both shared a love for negotiation and strategy so as my career progressed  it became the major source of bonding for us to “talk shop”. I adore my career. I love the thrill of waking up each day and knowing that you may get a call to list an excellent property or meet a new buyer or get an offer on an existing listing. I love that I have had the opportunity to develop lifelong friendships with clients while helping them buy or sell a house.  I love that as a mom I can create my own hours to  ensure I never miss a  game or play or  field trip. Finally, I love that I am hopefully an example to my girls  that you can be a loving and present wife and mother while also having a successful career – that women can be mutil-faceted and nothing should hold them back.

“your children’s faith and self-worth is essential. the rest of it doesn’t matter.” my kids look homeless 99.9%  of the time with  the bizarre get-ups they choose to wear daily;  they co-sleep with us; they have a very “loose” bedtime; and  pacifiers  and thumb sucking are used far too  long in age (and Elles favorite tv show may or may not be American  housewife).  however, they are all rooted in faith and are very aware of how much they are loved by jared and me. we try to help guide them through the things that matter but let all the silly stuff go. its still up for grabs if we are doing anything right though?

I read a book once – by local Lyette Reback – where she said that a non-negotiable part of her  familys routine was praying  aloud  over her  children  at  night.  she said that  her  kids looked forward to the quiet time  where  she  would  mention their strengths and special qualities and then gently encourage  them  in their personal  struggles. that really resonated with me  and  has  become a constant  in  our daily life.  we  added  in a little family verse that  they say at the end. “may Gods guidance be a lamp to  our feet and a light to our path.” hearing  my 3 year old butcher it  every night  melts my heart:)

 I am really bad at this.  Working out used to be my daily self care but it has fallen to the wayside. getting a good sweat has also been my go-to gift to my brain and body. this sounds pathetic but my current self-care is getting an extra long foot massage when get a pedicure. its a small thing but  letting me close my eyes for a second every couple weeks feels quite luxurious in my world.

I wish all moms – including myself – could relinquish the mom guilt. whether you work or don’t work or cook a  beautiful meal every night or can barely function in the kitchen like  me, we  are all momming the best we can. we are  not made to be perfect and if we could all just be kind to ourselves,  we would be better moms and humans all together. I struggle with the guilt a lot with my job. I work odd hours and often find myself whisper yelling to them so that a client won’t  hear that  God forbid I am with my kids at 7:30 in the morning. my first few children I would over compensate so much and outwork my competition with an obsessive vigor. I remember giving birth to Lulu and an hour later getting a text from a client congratulating us. I immediately responded with an update on a marketing launch for her house and the expected date for a magazine ad. she wrote me back saying that she didn’t care about her house and just wanted to celebrate the arrival of our daughter.  that moment really changed my perspective. I realized that I didn’t need to always be in work mode and my clients appreciated the other facets in my life. having babies didn’t prohibit my career but enhanced it. i felt  guilt  for taking a  couple hours off work to deliver an infant. I realized the guilt was self-imposed. my children and my clients are happy and content. we moms need to flip the script and the perspective!